I'm sitting on the couch.

The phone is on the table in front of me on the opposite side of the room.

It's running the Forest app for 100 minutes. That means, I am not allowed to use the phone.

A feeling comes by that I don't like my life.

I reach for the phone to talk to someone online.

Oh, right, I can't use the phone.

I'm watching the sky.

10 seconds pass.

Something crosses my mind.

I reach for the phone.

Oh, yeah.

I go to reach for the phone three more times in the next minute.

Now I notice that my left hand (my dominant hand) has a tension on it.

There's tension at my wrist and at my index and middle finger.

It's a compulsion to reach for the phone.

I think, "No. I am sitting here right now."

As soon as I make this decision, in the next three seconds, a thought crosses my mind.

The thought contains this unmet desire to reach out and help people.

The unprocessed feeling in that desire suddenly rushes through me -

It's feelings of worth, value, passion, compassion -

Then followed by heartfelt, vulnerable love.

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Somehow, I was unconsciously holding this feeling back.

It wasn't even a negative feeling I was holding back from experiencing, it was a positive feeling.

As the feelings process, energy returns to me.

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My concern is energy.

How do we get energy in this world, in this age, in this life?

Right now, we get a lot back -

Simply by closing the energy leaks.

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When I thought of this, I couldn't help remembering the fictional rock star Pink in the movie Pink Floyd - The Wall.

This impression had a huge impact on me when I was younger.

Pink is zoning out with the television on - has started to lose his mind, eventually disassociating and entering a catatonic state.

I know there are millions of people like this -

Multiple generations of disenchanted individuals who all love listening to Pink Floyd The Wall -

Because it showcases their alienated existence -

After the false dreams of Eros Hollywood love and American idealism lost their luster.

When I think of this, I have to ask,

"Man, what if Pink had just turned off the f***ing TV?"

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Now, we're not in that age anymore.

In our age, the energy drain is right in our hand.

In the next age, it will be right in our head.

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Most people in America have busy lives, problems, stresses.

They think this is the reason why they always seem to be depreciating energy -

Why each day they seem to be slowly draining energy until they completely run out.

The loss of energy isn't from obligations and problems and stresses.
The loss of energy is from the silent killer energy drains that haven't been patched up.

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Some years ago I came across this quote:

"All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone."

I've been thinking about this for a few years, what if it's true?

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In any case, draining energy with distraction is a problem for me.

This problem is not a one day fix.

And I am not going to take an instant gratification pill - including a physical pill - to solve it.

It's going to take years. It's an investment.

Why do this?

After assessing the cost.

What is the cost of me being able to sit quietly in a room alone?

What is the cost of me not being able to sit quietly in a room alone?
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I cannot afford that.

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With Love,

Tyler Choice

​Healing Services​