A few teachings from independent CEOs I read this year all were saying the same advice, all expressing this same sentiment:
You have two choices.
One:
You could be crazy by convincing yourself the world is normal, things are fixed, and safe, and life plays out rationally -
And we're not influenced by outside forces -
And we can expect what will happen tomorrow -
And if we follow the crowd we'll make it -
Could go on and on.
It's possible and even reasonable to try to believe in the normal, but that's crazy -
because you know there's so many strange things in this world -
and ways that reality is affected by actions we take -
and the millions and millions of people who get unbelievable results out of life - including yourself!
Two:
Then there's the second option.
You trust in what actually works in this world, that which no one can see, no one understands, and a mind would say: you cray cray.
I've heard people call this choosing De-lu -u, all kinds of names.
Option two, you choose the second kind of crazy.
Option 2 is a more rational choice, because it actually reflects reality..
Looking at option one, it's like certain death.
With option two, there's a glint of a chance..
In our world, it's 'unbelievable' things that happen, not 'believable things' -
Results are almost always unexpected - often, nearly statistically impossible -
That's our world..
And the people who successfully game that - they take action and put their bets on miracles - and they get miracles -
What are the odds of that?
Of them getting miracles?
They seem to be like, 100%. I don't know..
100% probability that if you believe in normal, you get normal.
100% probability that if you believe in reality, you get reality.
That's crazy. Yet, it's the case. Why? I don't know.
(okay, maybe the Enneagram has a bit to do with it, but that's for another time)
We just happen to be in a miraculous reality where statistically improbable things happen..
Well, I've always wanted to put my foot down on option two -
I don't want to choose delusion -
I want to choose what's real -
Even if I can't fully understand it, or predict it.
I know this in my head, but for a long time, I haven't really been able to get it.
To stand on it.
Something was holding me back.
Turns out, it was a chakra issue. That's crazy.
Low key, when I was younger, I used to think 'chakras' were kinda dumb.
Now, I feel like I was kinda dumb, because I was the one who didn't understand chakras.
( I recently realized - same deal with astrology - now I'm feeling pretty dumb at this point.. )
Anyway, I was holding myself back - asking - "What if I'm crazy?"
This question is a problem around the area right between your eyebrows -
That part of you that receives visions and ideas.
If it's blocked, we ask, "Am I crazy?"
But, we don't normally say it like this.
Usually, we say: "What if people think I'm crazy?"
It's the same question really.
If there's a block where you get ideas -
Then you doubt your ideas -
Change them to make them more normal -
Get stuck in 'laziness' and can't seem to execute on them -
I knew I had an issue here, I had to seek out someone who I knew could resolve it with an objective healing technique -
(This is the same technique I offer in my healing service)
Short version, I got this part of me restored.
There was this seemingly inconsequential memory in my life when I was 7 where I decided to limit myself, just a little bit.
And I got stuck there. There's always been a slight holding back.
I could always do something courageous if it was for someone else.
I never could, not fully, not sustainably, if it was for me.
Nothing even happened. I was at this family gathering and I felt like my whole existence was controversial to the beliefs that people were throwing into the air - and I felt attacked in my heart.
I had a lot of blind spots here with what was going on.
What I didn't see -
I was triggering everyone with just being fully who I was, fully myself, light, free, spontaneous..
At that time, my experience of the world was total immersion, total 8K, satori - pure experience - and it was intense.
Anyway, this 7 year old part of me, holding my full creative ability -
By holding back just a little bit, he wasn't just holding back from the world -
Not just holding back from expanding creativity into the world -
Not just from expanding his own immersion into the world -
He was holding that creativity back from expanding into the skies
And into the heavens
Into the infinite
And him - me - holding myself back from expanding into the infinite.
Which is definitely crazy.
And yet, if the infinite is in my consciousness -
I'm the one experiencing it -
Then it has to be me, it can't be someone else..
Even more crazy to have a big vision -
but hold it back from the infinite -
sabotaging the results.
I'm grateful that I got this restored. It's been a few weeks.
With this block cleared, I could take a look at "Am I crazy?"
"Are my ideas crazy?"
I took a look at it, and part of me was subconsciously thinking,
"Well, I might be crazy, but I'm not crazy in that way. Certainly not."
I didn't even know that I had any concern about being diagnosably crazy.
Having that hidden concern that other person might think I'm crazy -
and that they could be right -
had an invisible energy tax to it, it had a cost.
Pushing away from anything unresolved has a cost.
Resolution was found here.
I was putting energy onto,
"What you think is crazy, and what I think are crazy is different.
I'm this special spiritual crazy over here.
I'm not that psychological kind of crazy over there."
And with that, I'm trying to ride that normal train.
I realized, "maybe we are talking about the same thing."
Oh. Okay.
I could just accept that.
Maybe the answer to, "What if my ideas are crazy" is yes.
Maybe the answer to, "What if other people think I'm crazy is" - they will.
Maybe that's just life.
I got that distraction out of the way, and now I can actually look at vision. And it is beautiful.
I don't ask if I'm crazy now.
Now I'm asking,
"Am I disrespecting the gods by doubting the idea that they gave to me? Is my ego that big, is my pride that big,
that I, a mortal, know better than the beings up in the heavens?
And am I that disrespectful to criticize what they made?"
I feel like I'm lucky they haven't smite me down for all the ideas I've criticized..
This root trauma I've been talking about is the 6th out of 7. None of them are that difficult to deal with.
I have something unfreakingreal (at least to me) and simple to share about our human vehicle in the next few days.
Thank you for reading and stay tuned..
