Tyler Choice

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Unstuck and Unfrozen Newsletter Series:
THE VAMPIRE, THE VOICE, THE HEADMAN, THE COSMOS, THE ARTIST, THE DREAMER, THE MAGICIAN, THE JOKER, THE HERMIT, THE LOVER

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On Gurdjieff's The Master of The House and more.

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THE VAMPIRE

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I was hearing the same inspirational messages.

Sitting in church, then leaving with the same optimism and good feels.

Spiritually, I had more and more light.

Internally, something was wrong with me.

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I was in a prison.

Didn't know how to get out.

Getting worse every week.

Wondering if it was grief.

I didn't know.

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It felt like there was a knife in me, that kept pushing deeper each week.

Somehow, this life wasn't healthy.

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When I went outside, every person felt like a threat that could attack me.

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I wanted to disappear.

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I knew I was an empath.

I was reaching for solutions I couldn't figure out on my own.

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My first solution:
Learning that 'baby' empaths are energy vampires.

When we go outside and feel like everyone's attacking us -

It's a projection.

We're psychically attacking everyone - and ourselves.

We're projecting our insecurities onto them.

Casting our negative energy onto them like Wanda's spell.

The solution is to pull all of our energy back into our center.

I knew of this solution by many names -

"The Secret of the Inward Turn."

Redirecting the light back to its source.

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THE VOICE

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It so happened that turning one's focus inward to find the inner light would be the common practice I found across all spiritual traditions:
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From Kabbala and Jewish Mysticism to Vipassana and Theravada to Tantra and Shiva's 112 Meditations to G.I. Gurdjieff's Work to the Sufi Mystics to New Age to Jungian Psychology to Advaita Vedanta..

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Witnessing The Center

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Roughly speaking, we can use the mind to create a temporary "I" that is positioned near our center. This "I" may only be the felt sense of being a silent, listening, impartial witness. A role to perform a function.

Jack Kornfield and others call it The Witness.

Teal Swan calls it The Mediator.

G.I. Gurdjieff called it the Deputy Steward.

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“In one teaching, man is compared to a house in which there is a multitude of servants but no master and no steward. The servants have all forgotten their duties; no one wants to do what he ought; everyone tries to be master, if only for a moment; and, in this kind of disorder, the house is threatened with grave danger.” - G.I. Gurdjieff

“The only chance of salvation is for a group of the more sensible servants to meet together and elect a temporary steward, that is, a deputy steward.” - G.I. Gurdjieff

“Deputy steward can then put the other servants in their places, and make each do his own work: the cook in the kitchen, the coachman in the stables, the gardener in the garden, and so on. In this way the ‘house’ can be got ready for the arrival of the real steward who will, in his turn, prepare it for the arrival of the master.” - G.I. Gurdjieff

Gurdjieff is referencing a classic teaching in which the servants of the house have been left alone so long they doubt their master will ever return. They eventually put on the master's clothes and take turns on his throne.

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From my model in traditional Christianity and ACIM:
The temporary steward would serve as a mediator for the house until the arrival of the Intermediary, the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit is the Real Steward.

The Real Steward has a direct line of communication with the Master, and so can instruct the house on what to do to prepare for the Master's return.

Who is the Master?

The awake one, who is not forgetting. He remembers what he had once forgot and always knew. Unlike the servants of the house, he doesn't need to put on costumes to pretend to be who he is. You can call this awakening, or God, or the True Self.

When the Master is not present, the Intermediary is relied on to hear His Voice. This is what we Intuitives call the Intuition.

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How to know if you are that one?
If there is an Intuition you listen and follow, the Master is not home.

The Intuition exists when you don't remember your own Voice or who you have always been.
That is to say, the Intuition is your only voice.
But there has been an identification with other voices.

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THE HEADMAN

This section expands on Gurdjieff's parable on the ancient teaching of the Master of the House.

Why?

I enjoy sharing some of the lesser known stories and the understanding to be gained from them.

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Jesus Christ also referred to this classic parable throughout many teachings, most notably in his "Parable of The Ten Virgins,"

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You might be wondering if you should listen to me. ​
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​Well, I spent about 20+ years in evangelical Christianity, I took it pretty seriously. I left the church because I'm in love with truth.

The abstract:

• I could classify as a Christian Mystic.
• I was initiated in an esoteric school which made it a lot easier to read scripture.
• I pursue Christ, Truth and God.
• I do aspire to live for Christ, and for humankind.

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There's no need to believe anything I say here.

Please do not believe anything I say if you do not understand it yourself!

I'm not teaching. What I'm saying is certainly not correct.

I'm sharing from understanding.

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I only share this for if it resonates with understanding in you.

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Jesus on The Master of The House

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The parable of the ten virgins was the story about the virgins who kept their lamps lit as they awaited for the arrival of the bridegroom.

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When Christ's disciples asked him if this teaching was for everyone, or just for the disciples..

[ Asking if this is a parable about truth for the masses or a private teaching on awakening for the disciple ]

He replies by expanding on this ancient teaching.

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I've edited his reply for simpler reading.
​"Which person will act as the faithful and wise steward?

As the good steward that his master chose to manage his household?

As the good steward that will administer everyone's portion of food at the right times?"
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When the master comes back, if he finds the steward managing affairs as he had asked, the master will appoint the steward over everything he has.

But if that steward thinks, 'The master's return is delayed,' and begins to beat all the servants, and feast and get drunk, then the master will show up when he least expects him.
He'll cut him in half, and give him the same portion as the unfaithful.
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That bad steward, who knew what his master wished for, and didn't stay prepared for his return, nor do what he wanted, will be beaten heavily.

But for a steward who didn't know what his master wished for, and didn't do what he wanted, he'll be beaten less heavily.

To a person that much is given, of him will much be required;
and to a person that much was entrusted to him, of him more will be asked." - Paraphrased - The Parable of The Faithful Servant.

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A basic take away is simple.

Conduct your affairs well.

Do what you know you should be doing to move forward in your life.

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Do what would please your Higher Self or the future you when he or she comes back.

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How I think about this in layman's:

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​Grind through the boring times, prepping for what you'll need in the future.

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Learn the skills you need so you don't regret not having them later.

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We all have those rare moments of consciousness and clarity where we can see our life, the possibilities of our destiny.

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Then we go through seasons in darkness without any sign that we haven't been completely abandoned in this universe for a future - or a destiny.

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Our limited self thinks:

Why not self-destruct and binge Netflix in the meantime?

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The deeper teaching is densely packed, from different angles:

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- Make the little ego you as aligned as you can with your higher self, it will be less painful when the time comes that you're more conscious.

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- Have your consciousness in accordance with the good and true to have the conditions well set for when you find your Being, Self, God..
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Note: this isn't about an angry God coming back for attack.

God doesn't really hurt us. We get hurt.

In the general teaching, the story is about having to survive the burden of having consciousness, your own Conscience.

The moment the master returns is that moment you become aware and see your life and how you lived it.

That moment will be more or less painful based on on how you lived, how you treated others, and so on.

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People who are less aware, when the moment of clarity comes, it will hurt, but not nearly as bad.

It hurts less if you never knew what you were supposed to do, you didn't know.

It hurts much more when you know that you knew what you should do.

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I've never heard anyone break down the last part of the story, what Jesus is trying to say..

He's only trying to say that some people come to this life a little more aware.

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These aware ones do know what they should do.

They see the world.

They see the need for healing.

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God is asking for a lot from them in this lifetime.

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"To a person that much is given, of him will much be required;
and to a person that much was entrusted to him, of him more will be asked."

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Basically, if God has given you a lot of opportunity, understanding, ability, then you have a lot of work to do in this life.

If God has given you power, wealth, status, calling, then you have a lot on your shoulders to do good with it.

If God has given you a gift of understanding, it's meant to be shared.

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If you have a lot, you have a lot more to give.

You know it in the Calling in your soul.

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THE COSMOS

On the outside it looked like I had different goals.

On the inside you could say I was searching for God.

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As I went farther -

I was reaching up for the intangible.

The light of whatever existed outside.

What was pulling and calling me.

The same force of wonder in the vast beyond, beyond stars.

That flow and clarity.

The light of consciousness that would occasionally break through writing.

That eternal, timeless one.

The mysterious, nameless being beyond this life.

Walking above and watching over me at the ocean.

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THE ARTIST

Throughout my life, I took refuge in the imagination.

I survived my trivial, mundane, average existence through the fantasies of all that I could imagine myself to truly be.

Taking those real moments of when a greater divine personality would surface from me -

Unrepressed in my interactions with others.

Those rare moments of courage, or madness.

That divine expression I treasured as "the real me".

The one I saw reflected through movies and fiction and others.

A false "I" stitched together with the idea of its favorite attributes.

A monstrosity of grandiosity.

The artist takes refuge in his/her personal delusion.

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THE DREAMER

The artist takes refuge in his/her personal delusion.

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Reaching out for the above started to change that.

Getting exposure - contact with that intangible higher light.

With clarity.

With the calm stillness that quiets the mind.

I began to understand things I'd always heard others talk about and had cast off as delusion.

It was my thoughts that were delusion.

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THE MAGICIAN

It was my thoughts that were delusion.

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The more clarity I got from expanding to this outside reality beyond, the more the mind got a taste for it.

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Eventually, the taste of my fantasies started to lose their luster.

The essences of fantasy started to be seen as the shadows they really were.

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My own shadows, my own spells, spells cast on to myself.

[ A prison of Me. ]

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Magic created out of the energy of my own lack.

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Maybe that's when change started.

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THE JOKER

Now was the ability to be with myself outside of myself.

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When that happens, you can start to investigate, and then start to see,

"I" don't exist!
There's no real "I" in my body.

Whatever I am, I'm watching this construct known as "me," that's no more real than anything imaginary.

And I am unaffected by It!

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That It, it's not here.

This is why gurus say,
"Come bring it to me. Show it to me and I will help you with it."
It's a joke. You can't, as it's not here!

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After this, "self-work" became possible.

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THE HERMIT

With more awareness, healing became easier.

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I've applied many healing techniques over the last decade or so and I'm sure you have too.
I've done the deep work of hitting traumas at the root, and I do believe it's needed when you're broken.

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But, we're in a new paradigm.

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Under the surface, I found I was a perfectionist, insecure, and so on.

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Deeper down, I found that traumas were never the real issue.

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None of the overwhelming or devastating experiences were the root problem.

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It was never that anyone rejected me, abandoned me, or withheld love from me.

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The knife-stabbing pain, it was me.

It was always me.

I was the one causing my own pain.

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It was self-rejection, self-abandonment.

I withheld love from myself.

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Now, there's been a paradigm shift.

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THE LOVER
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A MINI-CLASS IN HEALING

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Now, there's been a paradigm shift.

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There is a way to actually self love.

For real.

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This is the end of fixing what's wrong with you .

[ This isn't a pitch, I'm not about to tell you about a healing service I'm offering. ]

I'm sharing with you what I learned, this new paradigm.

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As the witness, from that silent inner place, we can allow love in now.

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Being the witness is critical because you're not identified with thoughts and emotions.

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If you're not identified, they aren't you, so you can be with them.

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There's a possibility of freedom of choice here.

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As the Impartial Witness, you are in control of how you address your thoughts and emotions.

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Since we're not figuring out and fixing anymore, we don't need stories.

We don't need to know why anything happened.

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So, we can separate stories from emotion.

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This is going to sound simple because it is simple, and radical.

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Notice any aversion that arises when I say this.

The aversion is proof that this is in your power.

It's always been in your power.

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The solution is to allow and unconditionally accept every feeling within you.

No stories, just feelings.

This is the end to self-rejection and abandonment.

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You allow a space for your feelings to exist, to be seen.

Then, in a few minutes, when you are ready, you let them go.

You will feel things physically move around inside your body, and leave your body.

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I am certain there were cancers and ulcers inside my body that left me.

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You let the feelings express, and you breath in the Now that's here in the space.

You breath in more and more of the now.

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When you make this decision, you find that you aren't the one with pains.

You are the lover, the one you always wanted, the one you always needed. It's you!

It's the love you always really wanted and you have had the power this whole time.

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I wanted to write this to you to tell you that this isn't far away.

This isn't at some advanced stage of development.

Once you get it, you have it, and here it is:

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"What if I can't do this?"

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You turn your focus away from the story of "I can't do this" and notice the feeling of "I can't do this," where it is in your body.

Whatever you sense, even if it's an absence.

Then, you allow that to be there.

You can tell the feeling, "I allow you to be here."

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Even if the feeling doesn't want to be seen by you.

In that case, you would say,
"Okay, I allow you to hide."
And you just let it be there.

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In 3-5 minutes it will have processed.

And you can choose to continue gripping it,
or if you choose to, you'll let it go.

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You'll realize that you wanted some negative feelings, because of the meaning it had for you.

And you can let it go.

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This is the end of this series. Thank you for reading.

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With Love,

Tyler Choice

Author of 11 Ways To Magnetism ​

Creator of The Teach What You Learn Program

You can peek at my current service offerings here​

​Energy Release Healing Services (special discount code)

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p.s. Hey awesome light that you are! Want to release trauma? I'd love to invite you to a personal trauma healing session. Slots are limited.

You can submit an application here.

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7 Core Traumas

Mini-Breakdown:

One is when you can’t keep a stable career or home or relationship, can’t trust anyone, feel like you can’t hold on to anything, you don’t belong anywhere, you don’t deserve to have what you want, others deserve a good life but not you.

(For me, I was a kid, trying to do what was impossible. I couldn't stop wetting the bed. I became convinced I was incapable. I'm told that my brother would tell other kids about this and I would get extremely upset.)

Two is not getting your own needs met, not allowing yourself to sense pleasure, super covert self abuse/addictions masquerading as pleasure (but it’s really pain), no matter what you do it's never enough. Something about me is bad.

(For most people.. this is an early sexual trauma, having an encounter and then thinking that something was wrong with them, then trying to "cover up" for the rest of their life.

For me, a bit atypical. I was sexually humiliated by a manipulative friend I trusted. We got drunk, he pressured me into sex with him for what must have been 3 hours. Then when I agreed, he said he was fucking with me. It was a culmination of embarrassment, anger, rage, all of the bullying around that age. Exploiting my own innocence and vulnerability, created within me depths and capacities of resentment and aggression the size of worlds. It makes a hell of a lot of sense now. I forgot it even happened. )

Three is freaking out when things don't go as planned. Trying to control life.

(For me, I ended up the bad guy on the playground. She was teasing me with cooties. I didn't know what to do. I told her to get away from me, that I'd hit her. Some chubby kid came up to protect her like the white knight. I realized for the first time, that meant I wasn't the hero in the story. I never anticipated that scenario, so I didn't know what to do. I felt like I didn't have any choices, like I was stuck. Then I'm sitting alone in class, and I decide, you know what, I'll go solo.)

Four is the false self and having to filter.
​(For me, this was Christmas Day. I rejected religious conditioning because I knew the truth was that I was perfect the way I was. I felt bad because I felt like I was causing Mom pain, making her upset. I tried to be an adult at that moment. I felt like I had to be someone else. I became depressed and unhappy from that moment on.

Five is hidden unconscious jealousy and envy, resulting in not having true creative gifts expressing, blocked throat, inability to speak.

(For me: I'm 7 years old. I'm too much for people, shining too bright, too much joy. I see beauty, life, the adults don't. I'm not safe. Everyone is talking about superficial knowledge. I feel judged by all of their beliefs, as though their beliefs reject who I am without knowing it. I resolve never, ever, to forget this.. I put on a filter to self-protect, and felt unsafe in sharing up until this year. I had lost some of my creative power.)

Six is when you feel like you’re feeling like you have all these ideas and you must be delusional, your ideas can’t be taken seriously.

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In general, with most traumas I've worked with, what usually comes up is the feeling of "stepping on eggshells through the house."

Another shame-based trauma I've seen repeated is an early childhood memory of being told that one's own sexuality was bad.

On The Source of Traumas
​I had plenty of traumatic things happen to me in my life, so I thought those were the source of my traumas. None of them were. For those, I didn't have to go and solve those.
The actual traumas were created the first time I had the experience of those feelings, and then didn't process them.
These are often forgotten and sometimes seemingly trivial events.

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What is an energetic release session?

We’ll use a comprehensive approach to healing core traumas that recur as emotional triggers - traumas that prevent us from living empowered lives free of fear.

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Is this what is offered in therapy?

Modern therapy does not currently have widespread access to this state of the art approach.
Some long-term therapy modalities are good for long term growth, others are “lets talk about it”.
In contrast, this work is not to talk about problems to magnify them indefinitely.

This approach is to resolve problems so we can get on with our lives and move toward happiness and personal liberation.

I want you to feel and experience freedom and restoration.

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What’s my story?

I was a bit sheltered growing up with religious conditioning. Then after my parents split, I felt something split inside me that never quite came together again. I was torn between worlds and they couldn't fit together. I was exposed to a naked sight of a cold reality that seemed to swallow me.

A few experiences of abandonment in my early teens was like Earth, maybe even my actual mind, had shattered into millions of pieces. I fell into a spiral of drugs and poverty throughout my teens, doing anything I could to numb the void and cover up an existential pain, to escape my existence and my increasingly conflicted feelings and thoughts. Really, I felt rejected my whole life.

By 18, I had depression and a lot of anger.

By 20 I was diagnosed with C-PTSD and was told that being a left-handed creative type like I was, years of slipping through the cracks and the pressure of trying to keep up left me this recurring stress.. stress that would repeat every night in my dreams for another decade.

My 20's were spent in increasing panic and anxiety as I started to withdraw from life.

Learning the art of mindfulness started to show me the way out, eventually to superpowered people that could help me out, and much later to the kind of real therapy that can actually resolve issues. Not the kind that you feel better because you talked about your problems.

Now it feels like my life is opening up more and more every day, back to my love of creative pursuits, to me, and there's a real Self-Love here that will be here as long as I'm alive - Really, really, the majority of my suffering was only ever that I was hating and rejecting myself.

Having that "I will never leave you" is like being complete. It is that love I really wanted and it's in a place deep deep within me.

I don't know if you've ever seen someone solder metal surfaces together but I'm reminded of that, like I was fused back as one intact, unbreakable, alive me at my core.

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“My life used to be so painful that I didn’t want to live. I was in so much pain every day that I did not know what happiness or joy or fun was. They were concepts so far away from my reality that I had even forgotten they were possible. It felt like my life was impossible. No matter what I did I could not get away from my hell. My past was always present with me and I could not escape the years of sexual abuse and depression..

My depression made it so that I was in bed most days, and if I wasn’t, I really wanted to be. I wanted nothing to do with the outside world. How could I deal with the outside world when my internal world was a living hell? Every day I would wish I would just die. Either something had to drastically change or I was convinced I would die..

I now feel like a person instead of a shell of a person. I have had so many fantastic moments because this process has allowed me to leave my past where it belongs: in the past. This process has been the light at the end of the tunnel for me, giving me hope to what I thought was a hopeless situation, bringing me back to life.” - Joanna

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“I really like the method of your therapy, and the fact that it gets to the parts of the person that is You, and resolves the situation at its source.”- R

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What's My Background?

A little about me:

• I've been working with wellness-based healing modalities for 8 years.
• I'm a Certified Insight Mindfulness Teacher.
• I've worked through my own core traumas and continue to do shadow work.
• I recognize the shared human suffering across human experience.
• I'm focused on inspiration and full creative expression.
• I use an energetic healing method that clears the old patterns in your life so you can find Self-Love in the ever-present now.

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What are the benefits to this approach?

With this approach, once you go through this process once, you will be able to go through it yourself on your own. And, if you wish, you can take others through the process.

Does it work?

Yes. It worked for me and I've personally helped over 40 people with this approach. This is a healing where you recover what you lost.

How does this work?

If your application is approved, we'll book a free 30m discovery Zoom call where we can introduce ourselves, I can explain the process, answer any questions you have, and see if we resonate to work together.

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Who is this for? How do I know if we're a good fit?

I resonate with those who are empaths and spiritually sensitive people focused on the good, as well as the trickster/rebel/outcast/black sheep archetype, the 'left-handed' creatives that don't 'fit in'.

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Who is this not for?

This may not be for people who are not currently on a journey of self-discovery or self-realization or conscious expansion.

However, the process is objective, meaning it works for everyone.

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If this resonates for you, you can submit an application here with what you would like to accomplish.

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Looking forward to meeting you!